Bible Riches Mail #ae Laurie's message #1 - a plea for advice Laurie's message #2 - a request for
clarification |
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Introduction This page contains two email letters from a wife and mom named Laurie, as well as the replies that I sent her. After I answered Laurie's first message, she ran across an article on one of my web pages that answered someone's request for guidance about forgiveness. -> |
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Laurie & her husband were helped by that "forgiveness"
article, but they also had some questions. Those questions led to Laurie's second message. My reply to Laurie's follow-up message might be called, "Forgiveness -- Part 2." I hope you are as blessed by reading my replies to Laurie as I was in writing them. |
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Laurie's message #1 Dear Rich, After our daughter had been married 5 years and was expecting her 3rd child, she started calling home having anxiety attacks. My husband and I prayed with her and counseled her. We soon came to the conclusion that there were a lot of problems in her marriage. Finally it came out that her husband completely controlled her and was cheating on her at his job. She was devastated and moved in with us. My husband and I were also devastated and shocked. The worst thing as this unfolded was that the ex-husband had no remorse and still doesn't. He has lied and done everything he can to try to hurt our daughter or us. --> |
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2- Everyone
kept telling us we had to forgive. We couldn't explain to them what we believed because they felt we had been so
hurt that we didn't want to forgive. In the midst of all this heartache, our Pastor of 20 years (who constantly counseled us and our daughter that we had to forgive no matter what) confessed to having an affair, and our church fell apart. Other things were also happening I won't even mention. I would appreciate any Scripture or advice you might have. Thanks for your time! Laurie |
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Dear Laurie, Thanks for taking the time to share your heart with me. Your struggles are indicative of so many others, who like you feel the same way. I’m not going to take time to dissect your letter and give you
a lot of answers that won’t mean much to you at this season in your life. If anything, you have
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2- Remember
the four seasons? Spring comes and Yesterday is gone. It will never come back to you the way that
you experienced it. Instead, God will give you a NEW day to enjoy and look forward too.
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3- Do you see what happened? Way back in the very beginning, God was still actively moving and working even in the presence of darkness to do what? To create a new beginning! “LET THERE BE LIGHT” -- and there was light! Laurie, God knows and understands your hurts, struggles, pain and
disappointments. He hasn’t left you or your family. Although you may not see it now, the Spirit of God is going
to work out a new beginning for you and your family. All you must do is cooperate with Him and let God do the creating.
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4- Cooperate
with God and let His Spirit create light where there is darkness. Let the Spirit of God create life where there
is only numbness.
Do you see the difference? |
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Read the Bible verses alongside...
Much Love and Grace, Rich |
[Paul wrote...]
A thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning
this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And God said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 12.7b-10 |
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Laurie's message #2 Dear Rich, First I wanted to thank you for your response to my last LONG e-mail re: my family problems over the last couple of years. I appreciate the encouragement and verses to help me get back on the right road!! Now I have another question for you. We were so happy to find the lesson on forgiveness on your web-site. We actually printed it out and have shared it with our daughter and her fiancé. The fiancé works with a longtime good friend of ours who has been counseling him the opposite -- that you MUST forgive no matter what. My husband has been trying to explain that while we agree that we should not be vengeful and bitter people, we do not have to forgive someone who continues to hurt and deceive with no sign of remorse or repentance. -> |
After reading your lesson on repentance and forgiveness, our friend still disagrees, using the example of Christ on the cross... | ||
When they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Jesus, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left. Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." Lk 23.33-34a | |||
My question is: were they all forgiven? What did Jesus mean by that?
My husband and I agree with your interpretation because we believe that the theme of the Bible all the way through
teaches repentance before forgiveness. Thank you for your help!! |
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Rich's reply #2
I will discuss each of these Two Ways in the paragraphs that follow... |
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"A" Expressing Forgiveness in Prayer
Your prayer should lay the following three petitions before the throne of God... |
Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do
not know what they do." Luke 23.34a Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps... who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him [the Father] who judges righteously 1 Pet 2.21, 2.23 |
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Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11.25 | ||
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Cast your burden on the LORD, And He shall sustain you; He shall never
permit the righteous to be moved. Ps 55.22 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord. Rom 12.19 |
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And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Rom 8.28 | ||
"B" Expressing Forgiveness to the Offender
NOTE: My earlier study of *forgiveness* has further discussion of the *IF* aspects of Command #2 above. If you haven't already read that study, please Click HERE to do so. |
[Jesus said...] Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, "I repent," you shall forgive him. Lk 17.3-4 | ||
If there is no repentance by the one who sinned against you, then
you are STILL required to forgive him from your HEART -- prayerfully and PRIVATELY before God -- but NOT from your MOUTH by publicly saying to your offender that you have forgiven him. |
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Furthermore, you are commanded to forgive others on the SAME BASIS as Christ forgave you. | Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you. Eph 4.32 [see also Col 3.13] | ||
On what basis does Jesus keep on forgiving us? To answer this question, consider the verses alongside...
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If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth
is not in us. 1 John 1.8 If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1.9 |
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What would happen to a believer who refuses to confess his sin? He will be living in rebellion and out of parental fellowship with the Father. |
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For example, imagine partaking of the Lord's Table with unconfessed sin. That's what many of the Corinthian Christians did. That's why they were weak and sick, and some had even died.
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He who eats and drinks [at the Lord's Table] in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep [have died]. For if we would judge ourselves [confess our sins unto God], we would not be judged [chastened by God]. 1 Cor 11.29-31 | ||
Now concerning Jesus words on the cross, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do," please consider the following list of questions and answers...
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Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." Luke 23.34a | ||
Pay particular attention to the fact that Jesus is not addressing
His tormentors and saying He By praying to the Father, Jesus is saying [IN EFFECT]...
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Do you despise the riches of God's goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering,
not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? But in accordance with your hardness and your impenitent heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God Rom 2.4-5 |
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It might enhance understanding if I coined a couple of terms -- namely, "seasonal forgiveness" & "eternal forgiveness" -- as shown with the verses quoted alongside...
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*Seasonal Forgiveness* The Lord is ...longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. 2 Pet 3.9b *Eternal Forgiveness* If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. Rom 10.9-10 |
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You see, every time an unsaved person sins, God is exercising SEASONAL forgiveness by allowing that person to live another day. Now watch this...
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The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness,
but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. 2 Pet 3.9 |
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Concerning the prayer Jesus spoke as He was dying on the cross, there is a similar example. Namely, the Bible quotes the prayer that came from the lips and heart of Stephen while he was being stoned to death...
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And they stoned Stephen as he was calling on God and saying, "Lord
Jesus, receive my spirit." Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, "Lord, do not charge them
with this sin." And when he had said this, he fell asleep [died]. Acts 7.59-60 |
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And guess what? Stephen's prayer bore fruit...
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They cast him [Stephen] out of the city and stoned him. And the witnesses laid down their clothes
at the feet of a young man named Saul. Acts 7.58 Saul fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?" And he said, "Who are You, Lord?" Then the Lord said, "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick against the goads." So he, trembling and astonished, said, "Lord, what do You want me to do?" Acts 9.4-6 |
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Laurie, I hope this has helped to clear up some of your questions. Just remember this: NO one will enter heaven without first repenting. Although God is longsuffering for a SEASON, so as to give sinners a measure of time in which to repent, He will not grant anyone His ETERNAL forgiveness unless that person...
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[Jesus said...]
I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish. Luke
13.3 For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. Rom 10.10 |
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Summary
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Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive
him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.
Mark 11.25 Cast your burden on the LORD, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. Ps 55.22 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord. Rom 12.19 |
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[Jesus said...] Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, "I repent," you shall forgive him. Lk 17.3-4 | ||
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E-mail Rich |