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God's Strong Counsel for Husbands and Wives
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Strong Counsel for Wives
Strong Counsel for Husbands

Strong Counsel for Wives

Wife, God commands you to be submissive to your husband.

To better understand this command, let's examine what *submit* does and does not mean. In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 1 Pet 3.1-2

What *submit* does NOT mean...

The verse alongside proves that God's command does NOT mean He has placed you in a lower status than your husband. Absolutely not!
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Gal 3.28

What *submit* DOES mean...

Notice that God's command starts with the words, "In the same way."
Therefore, ask yourself, "In the same way as WHO?"
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands... 1 Pet 3.1a

To answer that question, read the verses that precede First Peter 3.1. As you do so, notice especially the verse quoted alongside.
Christ is your example!
The words "In the same way" point back to Christ.
For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps 1 Pet 2.21

Just as Christ submitted to the Father, you are called to be submissive to your husband out of love and devotion.
[Jesus said...] I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me. John 5.30b [see also John 12.49]

Some wives may think: “I have no problem submitting to my husband as long he is committed to the Lord, goes to church, and makes us a decent living!”

It is *only human* to place LOTS of conditions before agreeing to submission.
However, God presents you with a higher calling – a calling that is totally contrary to the flesh.
The verse alongside acknowledges that there will be some husbands who are callous, uncaring, inattentive and, yes, even disobedient to the Word.
If your husband is like that, does God still require you to submit to his authority? The verse alongside says, YES!
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 1 Pet 3.1-2

If you sometimes find it hard to submit to your husband, then you can find help by reading and heeding the following teachings from God's Word...

Carefully Consider Your Actions
Is your husband sometimes uncaring, unconcerned, and even unfit to be spiritual leader in the home?
If so, you may be tempted to respond by nagging, or pouting, or saying things to shame and manipulate him. If that happens, stop and think!

First off, remember that the Bible says Jesus is to be your example for submitting to your husband.
For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps 1 Pet 2.21

Then ask yourself, "What did Jesus do when He was treated unfairly? Did He revile? Did He threaten?"
The verse alongside answers these questions. Read it.
When Jesus was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously
1 Pet 2.23

If resentment and bitter words have been part of your arsenal, then you are on the wrong track for at least two reasons...

#1- You are trying to *change* your husband.

That’s God’s job, not yours.
Leave it to God. He’ll do a much better job than you or anyone else.

#2- You’re concentrating on your husband's behavior, rather than your own.

Read carefully the highlighted words in the verse alongside.
If your husband is disobedient to the Word, God wants to use YOUR behavior in order to win him.
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 1 Pet 3.1-2

The Bible clearly shows that the way to your husband's heart is not by his ears, but by his EYES.
Your husband will “observe” (i.e. give serious consideration to) your chaste and respectful behavior. God will use that as a tool to confront him with his own shortcomings, and the need to change.
they [husbands] may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 1 Pet 3.1b-2

It isn't what you wear on the outside, but *who you are* -- inside! -- that will get your husband's attention.
Your gentle and quiet spirit are what God can use to win your husband.
Do not let your adornment be merely outward -- arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel -- rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 1 Pet 3.3-4

In summary...

When God commanded you to submit to your husband, the example He placed in front of your eyes was Christ Jesus.
Thus, you are commanded to submit to your husband, NOT based on how he acts, but based upon how *Jesus* would act.
It is not your words or religious zeal that will speak to your husband's heart. It is your quiet and gentle spirit that will tell him of *Christ in you, the hope of glory.*

Strong Counsel for Husbands

Husband, God commands you to love your wife.

To what extent? To the same extent that Christ loved the church.

You ask: "How is this possible?"

God inspired Peter [who was a husband himself] to write three strong guidelines in answer to your question... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her
Eph 5.25

Guideline #1- Live Intimately With Your Wife

The words “live with” mean that a strong and intimate bond should exist between you and your wife.
God intends your marriage to be an intimate union that illustrates clearly to others the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church.
God has called on you to provide your wife with an atmosphere of intimacy, honesty, and transparency.
Listen carefully. If your wife feels more comfortable baring her soul to ANYONE other than you, then you are NOT doing your job.
Husbands, likewise, live with your wives with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Pet 3.7

Guideline #2- Be Understanding

"Understanding your wife" doesn’t mean figuring out what her favorite color is, or her favorite movie to watch.
It means that you start paying more attention to her than you do to the “remote control.” It means that you commit to her your life of understanding.
Start by carefully dusting off your wife’s dreams. Discover her passions. Share in her struggles.
Search out your wife's deepest needs, and always seek to know and understand the desires of her heart.
Husbands, likewise, live with your wives with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Pet 3.7

Guideline #3- Give Honor to Your Wife
To “honor” your wife means to treat her as valuable and precious...

Your wife is "weaker" than you ONLY in the sense of having a less muscular stature. God commands you to use your strength to *honor* her -- by always being her protector in times of danger, and by ever being her support in times of need.
God puts you on notice that your wife is fully your equal in terms of her position in His grace. You and she are "heirs TOGETHER."
Finally, you are given firm warning that not meeting your wife's needs for love, honor, and support will literally HINDER your prayers.

Husbands, likewise, live with your wives with understanding, giving honor to the wife...

as to the weaker vessel
and as being heirs together of the grace of life
that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Pet 3.7

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God's Strong Counsel for Husbands and Wives Navigate Strong Counsel for Wives Strong Counsel for Husbands

Strong Counsel for Wives
Wife, God commands you to be submissive to your husband. To better understand this command, let's examine what submit does and does not mean.		In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 1 Pet 3.1-2
*What submit* does NOT mean... The verse alongside proves that God's command does NOT mean He has placed you in a lower status than your husband. Absolutely not!**		There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Gal 3.28
*What submit* DOES mean... Notice that God's command starts with the words, "In the same way." Therefore, ask yourself, "In the same way as WHO?"**		In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands... 1 Pet 3.1a
To answer that question, read the verses that precede First Peter 3.1. As you do so, notice especially the verse quoted alongside. Christ is your example! The words "In the same way" point back to Christ.		For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps 1 Pet 2.21
Just as Christ submitted to the Father, you are called to be submissive to your husband out of love and devotion.		[Jesus said...] I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me. John 5.30b [see also John 12.49]
Some wives may think: “I have no problem submitting to my husband as long he is committed to the Lord, goes to church, and makes us a decent living!” *It is only human* to place LOTS of conditions before agreeing to submission. However, God presents you with a higher calling – a calling that is totally contrary to the flesh. The verse alongside acknowledges that there will be some husbands who are callous, uncaring, inattentive and, yes, even disobedient to the Word. If your husband is like that, does God still require you to submit to his authority? The verse alongside says, YES!**		In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 1 Pet 3.1-2
If you sometimes find it hard to submit to your husband, then you can find help by reading and heeding the following teachings from God's Word...
Carefully Consider Your Actions Is your husband sometimes uncaring, unconcerned, and even unfit to be spiritual leader in the home? If so, you may be tempted to respond by nagging, or pouting, or saying things to shame and manipulate him. If that happens, stop and think! First off, remember that the Bible says Jesus is to be your example for submitting to your husband.		For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps 1 Pet 2.21
Then ask yourself, "What did Jesus do when He was treated unfairly? Did He revile? Did He threaten?" The verse alongside answers these questions. Read it.		When Jesus was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously 1 Pet 2.23
If resentment and bitter words have been part of your arsenal, then you are on the wrong track for at least two reasons... *#1- You are trying to change* your husband. That’s God’s job, not yours. Leave it to God. He’ll do a much better job than you or anyone else.**
#2- You’re concentrating on your husband's behavior, rather than your own. Read carefully the highlighted words in the verse alongside. If your husband is disobedient to the Word, God wants to use YOUR behavior in order to win him.		In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 1 Pet 3.1-2
The Bible clearly shows that the way to your husband's heart is not by his ears, but by his EYES. Your husband will “observe” (i.e. give serious consideration to) your chaste and respectful behavior. God will use that as a tool to confront him with his own shortcomings, and the need to change.		they [husbands] may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 1 Pet 3.1b-2
*It isn't what you wear on the outside, but who you are* -- inside! -- that will get your husband's attention. Your gentle and quiet spirit are what God can use to win your husband.**		Do not let your adornment be merely outward -- arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel -- rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 1 Pet 3.3-4
In summary... When God commanded you to submit to your husband, the example He placed in front of your eyes was Christ Jesus. *Thus, you are commanded to submit to your husband, NOT based on how he acts, but based upon how Jesus* would act.** It is not your words or religious zeal that will speak to your husband's heart. It is your quiet and gentle spirit that will tell him of Christ in you, the hope of glory.
Strong Counsel for Husbands
Husband, God commands you to love your wife. To what extent? To the same extent that Christ loved the church. You ask: "How is this possible?" God inspired Peter [who was a husband himself] to write three strong guidelines in answer to your question...		Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her Eph 5.25
Guideline #1- Live Intimately With Your Wife The words “live with” mean that a strong and intimate bond should exist between you and your wife. God intends your marriage to be an intimate union that illustrates clearly to others the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church. God has called on you to provide your wife with an atmosphere of intimacy, honesty, and transparency. Listen carefully. If your wife feels more comfortable baring her soul to ANYONE other than you, then you are NOT doing your job.		Husbands, likewise, live with your wives with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Pet 3.7
Guideline #2- Be Understanding "Understanding your wife" doesn’t mean figuring out what her favorite color is, or her favorite movie to watch. It means that you start paying more attention to her than you do to the “remote control.” It means that you commit to her your life of understanding. Start by carefully dusting off your wife’s dreams. Discover her passions. Share in her struggles. Search out your wife's deepest needs, and always seek to know and understand the desires of her heart.		Husbands, likewise, live with your wives with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Pet 3.7
Guideline #3- Give Honor to Your Wife To “honor” your wife means to treat her as valuable and precious... Your wife is "weaker" than you ONLY in the sense of having a less muscular stature. God commands you to use your strength to honor her -- by always being her protector in times of danger, and by ever being her support in times of need. God puts you on notice that your wife is fully your equal in terms of her position in His grace. You and she are "heirs TOGETHER." Finally, you are given firm warning that not meeting your wife's needs for love, honor, and support will literally HINDER your prayers.		Husbands, likewise, live with your wives with understanding, giving honor to the wife... as to the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Pet 3.7